Along way behind

If a peak state is the top of the performance curve and trauma is the bottom. If these states are actually the same yet the situation is different, then what is the middle. Neither up nor down as the kids song goes when singing about incy wincy spider.

Incy wincy spider climb up the water spout. Then down came the rain and washed poor incy out. Well I rode the Just Cycles Yarra valley charity ride last Sun and it bucketed down on us. We climbed up Mount Donna Buang and at the top is was a mere 4 degree's so the feeling of being washed out was evident. Anyway it was my first real ride ages and I am ok with it most of the time but do have period of feeling guilty.

Now as for the peak experiences and trauma I have reflected lately on how right now I feel like I am smack bang in the middle. Nether up nor down. This is weird because even since Beijing and rowing I have been in many peak states and yet I am far from this in relation to physical performance. I have had real trauma to and I am not there any more either. For the last 3 months I have being engaged in other things and fill well connected and yet with out physical activity outside of my walking I feel like something is missing. It's surprised me a lot as I have been busy and yet I don't feel complete with out some level of training I guess.

In one sense I feel I am along way behind my sense of what is normal and yet not far enough back to kick my self into gear. When every I have had adversity I have bounced back well. When ever I am flying along I have fuel to find ways to improve constantly. At this stage and in the state I feel like I am neither here nor there...

The next step ahead and yet I am taking taking time to become grounded and stable before making any step, decisions and taking action.

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